Can I Have A Cookie?

$$ Money $$

2011-08-16T10:38:00.000+02:00

Ahhh Money.

**Aparently the name of our new neighbor? If think if we become friends we should teach him how to "make it rain" just like Danny McBride. Go HERE to learn if you also need to learn.

We got a small sum of money deposited into our account from the US Treasury. We aren't sure what for.

Me: "What should we blow this newly found money on??"

Trent: "Just because we get random sums of money deposited into the account we don't have to find something to spend it on."

Me: "I think you misunderstand. You said 'spend money'... I said 'blow money'. Mine means its use should be spent on frivilous things."

Trent: "Like $300 worth of little toy army men?"

Me: "Or rainbows?"

Trent: "Bubbles?"

Me: "A little of all of that?"

We clearly need some better ideas.

Stinging Nettle and Staring Germans

2011-06-09T12:59:00.000+02:00

Bosco and I like to go on runs behind the house when the weather cooperates. Actually- he loves to run and I try to like running. So on Tuesday we started out from the house on one of the farming roads that lead to other very small villages.

There was a tractor out doing something behind the house (mowing the sides of said farming roads) and I was prepared for that since I had heard him start around 7 am. So as we were warming up on the first mile I see him in front of us. As I was running faster than he was mowing (YAY!) I told Bosco to heel and attempted to pass him on the left.

For some unknown reason (even though he isn't finished with the row) he makes a turn to the left like he wants to mow the other side. Now- he had seen me coming from behind because I saw him turn and look. I don't know where he thought I had gone when he decided to turn minutes later- but as I was running right up next to him I sort of did a very graceful push-Bosco-into-field-fall-into-stinging-nettle-bushes-to-avoid-tractor-tires move to avoid him.

So I am attempting to pick myself up and check on Bosco when I realize it feels like my legs are bleeding!! It was just the cushy nettle that I fell into leaving welts all over my legs. No bleeding. But it still hurt.

So neighborly German farmer man just stares at me while this is all going down. No "hey are you ok" or "German equivalent"... just stares. It was like he was thinking, "What in the world? Hmmm- what an odd-looking person out here for no good reason! I can't possibly understand why she just fell down!"

The only thing to do was instruct Bosco to bite a hole in his tires and keep running to maintain my dignity and the right to be out there running in the first place. Bosco seemed very unconcerned about the whole thing and went frolicking off into the fields. Dogs are so resilient.

When I got home I showered, cleaned the welts and had an overwhelming urge to call up a nurse working the clinic at Ft. Rucker, AL. Just curious if instead of asking an actual DOCTOR I might get another reading of "The Guide To Wilderness Medicine" and a helpful question such as, "Do you know EXACTLY what kind of stinging nettle it was??"

But they weren't open yet. Oh well.

I google searched "stinging nettle" and actually found out it is quite useful medicinally. I knew it couldn't be that bad since they put it in cheese in Holland (pretty delicious actually!!) Probably COOKED- however.

Check this out!! Stinging Nettle Eating Championship

Bleh.

Saucy!

2011-05-23T14:44:00.000+02:00

I think there comes a time when a blog needs to talk about some sauce. Saucy!!

So this past weekend we came home from a long bike ride to a pretty empty fridge. There were a few frozen shrimp entrees- so we nuked one and dove in. Needless to say, the little shrimpy entree wasn't REALLY what we had been expecting.

Enter awesomeness. In the form of hot sauce. It redeemed the entire evening.

"Rooster Sauce" is most amazing. It really does taste good on all Asian food (including sushi!) and a variety of other foods- even pizza!

(See link to humorous blog about said sauce!)

Rooster Sauce

The next noteworthy sauce comes from a previous blog post of mine. Introduced to me by a former boss- this "Bottled Up Anger" is no joke! Good on veggies, rice dishes... even on your finger when you are passing by the fridge and need a little spiceyness! (Don't judge.)

This green chili sauce is the savior of weekend breakfasts. Can you say Huevos Rancheros?!? Since it is not for sale in European commissaries we rely on family in the US for our supply. (God bless them!!)

All you need is some eggs, tortillas, cheese, chorizo, and this 'heaven-in-a-jar'. Maybe a few jalapenos for good measure.

Last but not least- Cholula while you hula! This is best kept at places of employment in large containers- work lunches often need a little help. Thanks for this useful advice Greg!

SIDE NOTE: You Tabasco peeps need to quit your commonplace sauce. Tabasco is only acceptable for raw oysters... and even then it isn't the cat's meow. Give it up. If you HAVE to have your Tabasco- use the Chipotle. Otherwise you don't deserve to be called a connoisseur of sauce!!

Thoughts on Parenting Styles

2011-05-11T15:45:00.000+02:00

Ok. So this is an actual duvet cover set in a local store. Upon seeing it I instantly knew two things...

One: A picture needed to be taken immediately.

Two: I need to decide on a parenting style before having children.

After careful consideration (20 min worth) I have decided upon three options.

Parenting Style #1: Complete Honesty

"Well little Timmy, its like this.(Present child with book on actual reproduction from A to Z.) Even though this may be confusing- your mommy and daddy actually did the thing in this book, and because of that mommy carried you in her tummy for a while before going into messy labor, and then we had YOU!! I know this is a lot to take in, but you should know the whole truth. You may be grossed out now under your little illustrated duvet, but this will save you later in life from the embarrassment of confusion and incorrect names for anatomical parts. Let this duvet cover be a lesson to you."

"Also, while we are on the subject of truth, NEVER listen to daddy when he says mommy is stinky. It's really him."

Parenting Style #2: Humor To The Parent/Horror To The Child

"So.... little Timmy you said you wanted a brother or a sister- now you can sleep at night with all of your brother/sister possibilities!! Bahaha!"

"We DID get you- but see this little guy NEXT to you on the pillow? I'm starting to think that one would have been a more obedient child..."

"The Gypsies are in town and you had better behave. Really- now you can see how easy it is for mommy and daddy to replace you!"

"Uniqueness is really subjective... you looked like everyone else in the beginning."

Parenting Style #3: Confusion

"Look Timmy- boys and girls come from pretty balloons! Your balloon just got too big and 'pop!'- out you came!"

"What does it mean? I have no idea- ask your father. It was one of the last duvet sets they had. Do you want me to exchange it for the princess one? No? Then be quiet."

"Well- you see... there are birds and there are bees. But I'm tired- can we talk about this later? You are giving me a headache."

I really think I'm favoring a combo of these options. But I'm open to suggestions.

Book Review #1

2011-05-04T13:47:00.000+02:00

So my friends... since I am not returning to online classes until this fall I have been reading for fun. Even though "reading for fun" is a novel idea it seldom happens when "reading to not fail classes" takes over.

I thought since no one is going to be interested in my upcoming "reading to not fail classes" experiences I had better just limit blogging to "reading for fun".

"READING FOR FUN #1!"

Quotes from the book:

"Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service."

"Women can resist a man's love, a man's fame, a man's personal appearance, and a man's money, but they cannot resist a man's tongue when he knows how to talk to them."

"Men little know when they say hard things to us how well we remember them, and much harm they do us."

This book caught me from the opening line: "This is the story of what a Woman's patience can endure, and what a Man's resolution can achieve." The book had mystery and character depth- but what I loved most was the little bits of wisdom thrown here and there as the plot unfolded. See the quotes above- don't you agree?!? Hahaha, I think on more than one occasion I read the "nugget of wisdom" parts to Trent but he looked unimpressed.

SIDE NOTE- I would have never been married if I lived back then- I would be a horrible woman all things considered!! I have little patience and I would have always been going off at the mouth! So lucky that I found someone who loves me for modern me. ;)

Our First Weekend in Slovenia

2011-04-14T08:30:00.000+02:00

"I feel Slovenia"- its Slovenia's slogan and I can completely understand why! We went this past weekend and it was fantastic... probably the most relaxing vacation since the Smoky Mountains before we left the states.

We stayed in the Julian Alps- below is a picture of Lake Bled. Bled is gorgeous... a castle sits above the town on a cliff, and a picturesque church sits on an island in the middle of the lake. Who can resist?!?

To get out to the island we rented a small rowboat- although Trent did most of the work I tried to help!

Once on the island we went to the Church of the Assumption to ring the lucky bell. Note the directions... men should not attempt to kick women in the face while ringing bell. Noted.

So here I am ringing the lucky bell and trying to get all the luck out. I only was told AFTER that you are supposed to make a wish first! I just thought you'd get some luck... so I might need to go back...

Trent also rang the lucky bell. And didn't kick me in the head.

Our first Slovenian beer- delish!

Next we went to Bled Castle to look around and have dinner. The castle was amazing... great views and a small museum of Slovenian history.

So romantic!

The next day we went to Lake Bohinj. Bohinj is bigger and is much different than Bled. We started with an early am hike to the waterfall- Slap Savica.

A rainbow...

The view from Slap Savica- you can see Lake Bohinj in the distance.

Trent at Lake Bohinj.

There are more pictures on facebook- if you don't have facebook let me know and I can email you the rest of the pics! All in all a great weekend. We will be going back for sure- next maybe fly fishing the Emerald Trail or seeing the costal areas in June... but Slovenia is now one of my favorite places!!

Poland

2011-03-21T12:24:00.000+01:00

The reason for this trip really began years ago when Trent and I went to pick out new plates from "Blood Bath and Beyond" (as we have nicknamed it). We picked out a set we thought would last, as any newly married couple does, but the dishes soon chipped and discolored. Becoming frustrated, we decided to overhaul our kitchen contents. And SINCE we are in Europe- why not stock up on Polish and Italian pottery??

Starting with Polish pottery.

We did our homework and mapped out a trip to Boleslawiec, Poland, the birthplace of beautiful, hand painted pottery.

But we also wanted to see a bit of Poland and experience the culture. I pictured a quaint little town similar to Germany's Triberg. But we were quite wrong- the town is much larger and MUCH less touristy than we'd thought. It wasn't too bad- but we were somewhat taken aback by the cleanliness and crowded streets.

But making the best of it we found a cute little Polish restaurant. Warm and cozy- we prepared for our first Polish cuisine. And then they brought bread to the table... with a side of lard. Yes... LARD. See picture below.

We put some on a knife to be sure... I really thought we had to be mistaken. But no, just a nice helping of pure animal fat. And what was even more interesting- the locals all loved it! We watched as they lathered it on big hunks of bread and then topped the lard with a spoonful of sugar.

**Yuck**

But other than that the food was great!

Below- Yummy Polish dishes! Gołąbki (cabbage rolls filled with meat and rice), pierogis, and a delish chicken "pancake".

The unexpectedness did not end with the meal. We checked in to our hotel which has now won the award for "Most Random Hotel Room Ever".

See below that the "sitting room" has both a piano and a massaging chair. There were also a few china cabinets with crystal cups and other items one might place into a china cabinet found in a hotel room.

The bedroom was behind this room, enclosed by cardboard partitions. But other than an odd smell it was clean and we woke to a yummy breakfast. (Travel tip- take travel candle and matches. Helps more than you'd think!)

The next day we went to the city of Wroclaw and looked about. We didn't take any pictures... but it wasn't a very nice place. The tour books can be very deceiving at times.

So, Poland- check.

How `bout that Italian pottery??

Bearlin

2011-02-22T13:13:00.000+01:00

Bearlin! A great way to tour the city of Berlin- by BEAR!

See? Even Trent got into the spirit of Bearlin. Well... a little, anyway.

Germany! Here goes...

2011-02-16T12:52:00.000+01:00

So! Germany. Here we are. Settled into a house in a TINY village, Trent hard at work, and several European cities on the list to visit. As Francis Bacon once said (as quoted on the Celestial Seasonings chamomile tea box), "Travel, in the younger sort, is a part of education; in the elder, a part of experience."

Thus begins our education of Europe and it's history.

I will be updating this blog with our travels and pictures (so for those of you without facebook pay attention!). See below our TINY village- home base.

Our dog Bosco, the "welcome" mat in our driveway.

Below- Trent and I in Strasbourg, France

More to follow!!

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-01-26T15:52:00.002+01:00

Hey..... internet!!!!

After almost 6 months of no internet, the drought is over! I can't even being to say how happy this makes me! Not that having internet is everything, but it sure helps one feel connected. AND it is too late for me to get in on the current semester, but I can register for summer now!

At some point I will upload some pics and new posts- but now its off to surf the web!

Woohooo!!!!!

The Jellyfish

2010-06-30T17:25:00.005+02:00

This experience REALLY warrants a blog- so here it is!

Last weekend we went to PC Beach to relax for the day... no big oil has been reported there YET so we are trying to make the most of our remaining beach opportunities. Well, no oil, but some jellyfish! I got stung on my belly... looks like three tentacles got me from top of my belly all the way down to my hips and around to my back. It stings and its very uncomfortable when running, but other than that no big deal. EXCEPT... I sure don't want scars!!

So I called the clinic on post and asked for an appointment. No appointments left, but they told me a nurse would call. She did call later in the day and asked what was wrong. I told her what had happened and when, and said I wanted to know if I was doing the right things to treat the sting and prevent scarring.

WELL- she then told me that it would only scar if it was an open wound/bleeding. I told HER that I wasn't so sure, since I have scars from curling iron burns and THOSE weren't open wounds. (Seriously what woman among us hasn't been burned my a curling/straight iron or stove/hot pan before??!) So she said she would go ask a doctor what I should do or see if I need to come in.

Then she got back on the phone and started reading verbatim from a "physician's wilderness guide to medicine" (what happened to asking a DOCTOR??). She told me to rinse it with salt water/urine during the first few minutes after the sting (even though I had JUST told her it was a few days old). She then told me to try meat tenderizer (already told her I had tried that) and vinegar. And now comes the best part... she asked what type of jellyfish stung me. I told her I had no idea- I'm not familiar with the jellyfish species that might be present on the Florida gulf coast. So she asked... "Are you SURE it wasn't a BOX jellyfish?"

At that point I was torn between saying something funny or rude. Seriously? Hmmm... well I didn't travel to a location close to Australia... and I didn't get rushed to the hospital or DIE... so... no... don't think it was a box jelly. Should I also make sure I wasn't victim to an underwater bear attack?

Universal Truths of June

2010-06-06T04:14:00.004+02:00

Horses cannot outrun horse flies. I don't know why I even try. Also, a direct hit with a fly swatter will NOT kill a horse fly. Oh- and they can draw blood.

You can tell how bad the humidity is when your sunglasses fog up on you.

As much as country music idolizes "down by the river"... stereotypes become TRUE down by the river. Just something to keep in mind.

No matter how slow you move- having sweat marks is GOING to happen. Might as well look like you were trying to exercise anyway.

Yummy Southern Summer Treat

2010-05-25T20:14:00.002+02:00

Last week as I was enjoying the last of my free time, I watched Fried Green Tomatoes. I had never seen it and thought what better time to watch it?

So then shopping for groceries I came across locally grown green tomatoes and bought a few. I'm not a big fan of fried foods (or at least not a fan of calories) so I cut one up for a salad. As it turns out, green tomatoes are MUCH too tart for a salad!

So we sauteed some in a bit of olive oil....

Then added a bit of good ole Danny Cash...

Delicious! I think I might have one as an appetizer every night this week.

Bosco and the Blue Boat

2010-05-19T19:14:00.003+02:00

As we cannot take our ole Blue with us when we move, we are attempting to sell him. I don't know why, but we haven't taken Bosco out on the boat yet- I think we thought he'd be scared. Nope! As you can see he is happy as a clam!

And what fun is being on a boat if you can't get out and chase your tail in the water?

**sigh**

If I only had a dog's life...

Attack of the Mosquitos!!

2010-05-16T23:38:00.003+02:00

This weekend we went to the drive-in, and I got 34 mosquito bites. I wore long pants and a jacket... yet somehow was eaten alive. I tend to have a slight allergic reaction to mosquito bites- and since I was bitten several times on my hands, I cannot get my rings off or really bend my ring finger (pinkie finger is also jacked up!). It started throbbing around 3:30 am- so we got up and tried SEVERAL things to get those darned rings off. In the end I couldn't take how bad it was hurting, so I took pain pills and let it be.

I think my only option is cutting the rings off or waiting and hoping the swelling goes down... so... here's hoping.

ALSO (please note picture) while I was contemplating my numerous bites, I saw something in the window. I thought it had to be some other type of bug, but after Trent inspecting it, then disposing of it, we concluded it is just a HUGE mosquito.

Did he follow me home? Not sure. But at least if he DID contribute to my 34 bites all over my body, he didn't get away with it!

Ha!

Trials and Remembering

2010-05-06T20:52:00.002+02:00

It's been about a year and a half since moving to AL and becoming a newly wed. It has been an adventure, for sure, and sometimes a difficult one. I found myself on the "bottom of the bucket" a few days ago. This has happened a few times already... feeling lonely, helpless, frustrated, angry... and not just at being married or living here- my job, my health care, my goals, my schoolwork...

I started to think about other times in my life. Sometimes the crap just hits all at once. And who knows why... but I think of them as seasons. I KNOW there is another season coming. I can feel it. I think the upcoming move to Germany has something to do with it too, but I feel a readiness to say goodbye to this and move forward.

So I was reading through my well-used Bible and came across so many verses that I'd underlined a long time ago. Verses that were so important at different times. And I felt at peace. It was as if the old me was looking through the pages and helping me remember all the wonderful things God did in my life.

And there is much yet to happen! I need to remember these things. (God scolded Israel all the time about remembering...)

I'm choosing to remember that I have a wonderful husband and a lot of good things in store. A lot of lessons to remember (learning the hard way) and a lot of areas for improvement... but a new season is coming.

Grrrarrrrr.

2010-04-30T23:48:00.002+02:00

That's all I have to say for now.

I will try to post more blogs, but after working or doing classwork online all day I really don't have the energy to blog. I know, lame.

I HAVE had a lot to blog about. So, quick recap of blogs I should be writing....

1. Radio is CRAP here. On Mondays listeners can call in and give 3 words to describe their weekend. UGH! They then go on and on about why they picked the three words... enough to make you sick on the way to work. WHO CARES???? I don't know you people. I DON'T CARE about your weekend. Hey WKMX radio- please come up with something interesting for a morning talk show! Thanks.

2. Moving to Germany. Will not make it in time for old college friend's wedding.:( Going to start learning German once finals are over. Woohoo!

3. Bosco is KING of dog park. By far most people's fav regular. ;) Or at least top 5.

4. Class is hard. Accounting is going to kill me.

5. I got a $0.39 raise at work. So I gave EJ a not-so-great review on the survey for Best Places to Work in Alabama. Ha. Take that, EJ. Too qualified for this job I can't keep my licenses but can't get a decent salary?

That's all. Maybe I'll write a better blog in a few weeks.

The Weather Channel

2010-04-02T22:35:00.002+02:00

Does anyone else have the Weather Channel Desktop?

Just checking mine today, and there is a picture of a snowy roadside under "weather photos". Apparently, users of The Weather Channel Desktop can upload their own weather-related photos.

The title of this fine picture is "we got hite with snow". Is this something only those from Buffalo understand?

I sure don't.

Gearin Up

2010-03-15T02:09:00.004+01:00

So, I haven't been blogging lately. Maybe I need to start doing that more often.

Anyway...

Since I've been fighting-a-cold/dealing-with-AL-allergies I haven't been very consistent in my running. I made a new year's resolution to make a PR in the St. Patty's Day 10k here on post. (I'll update this hopefully with a great finish time!) So, this morning since Trent was studying I woke up and got out the door to get in a nice long run. The weather isn't humid yet and it's getting warmer... yay!

I guess my only real reason for posting this is I have odd thoughts while I run, and I wanted to share one.

I thought, what if I write a book and it makes tons of money and I become wealthy and famous? (... well not famous. I don't like talking to strangers as a rule...)

What would I write? Hmmm.... maybe... "How To Run: For Lazy People". It could be all about my ups and downs and finally getting to the brink of really loving to run. I'm a lazy person so I'd understand the content of the book pretty well. But then what if I write this book and then get super into running and start doing marathons? Could a book possibly be written on "How To Run Marathons: For Lazy People". I just don't think so... and I spent about a mile wondering about all that would go into a book and if anyone would read it... blah blah blah. And then I went on to think about something else... maybe my IT band. Or my knees. Or how when you yell "on your left" some people jump around all over like they can't decide which left is "their left".

I'd also like to note Ash is a great writer- see Lost in Arkansas on my blog list. She could write a book for sure... but she probably couldn't use my title without me gettin real mad and making her pay me lots of money.

Wow

2010-02-09T16:15:00.001+01:00

So, its been what- four months since my last post?

Should I just delete this blog or try and start being a better blogger?

Tell me what to do!!!

The Trifecta

2009-10-12T01:59:00.001+02:00

Bosco- and the Turducken. Also known as the chew toys chicken, duck, and turkey.

The Lord has heard our pleas... cooler weather returns to the South!! Amen.

2009-10-04T21:40:00.004+02:00

Yes- the weather is becoming nice once again. This morning at the park Trent and I could close our eyes and almost imagine we were in Colorado... getting ready for the incline and some huevos rancheros. **Sigh**.

MY big news... Trent and I ran 30 miles this week! Woohoo! I don't know what prompted the total- and it was a bit hard to get the miles in- but we did it! On Friday, though, we ate at a critically-aclaimed Thai restaurant for lunch. You know, giving it a shot. It was ok... but I decided upon leaving that I didn't care to ever go back. After a few hours we went running (needed to make the 30)- which was a HUGE mistake. Not even a mile in to the woods my chest started hurting SO bad it felt like a knife was stuck in my sternum. I'd stop, breathe, cry, and keep going (I had NOT wanted to have to run again that day...). Needless to say it was the worst run ever. And even though other people on the trail saw me crying, bent over, NOT ONE PERSON stopped to ask me if I was ok. Maybe they see this thing all the time? That's not very nice, in my opinion. But I made it. After a few Tums and a glass of milk I was fine, other than the wounded pride. I don't think I have ever had acid that bad... I can't even remember the last time I needed Tums!! It really hadn't felt like indigestion, but I guess that painful sensation happens to some people.

*****Don't eat at Toi's Touch of Thai. Yuck!*****

Now Bosco's news. We took him to Eufala this weeked for a lunch BBQ. We thought we'd save the boat for later... just try to get him used to swimming. He had no problem, however! He made straight for the lake and went on in- swimming and playing fetch for a few hours. He was so tired when we got him home, and he was passed out way before bedtime. Silly puppy. Next time we will take the boat... Bosco couldn't help going to make friends with everyone else who was there to BBQ as well. :)

*****See below, he apparently has to coat himself in sand and waller around on the beach before swimming again.******

Adding to the family...

2009-09-26T00:05:00.005+02:00

So, we have a new addition!! Bosco Elwood, or Bosco, joined us the beginning of September. He is already growing- our last vet visit was 15 pounds. Before we know it he is going to be quite a large dog, so we are doing our best to train him now. Still on the short attention span side... but it's never too early.

AND, we got him a turducken to play with! Well, actually a chicken toy, a duck toy, and a turkey toy. The circle is complete. He loves the heck out of those toys. When we came home from getting the turkey toy I acted like it was MY chew-toy, but Bosco started to take it from me right away. Apparently, he doesn't think anyone else should get chew-toys. Hmm.

We have high hopes for the little guy. :o)

What's the time?

2009-07-23T15:54:00.007+02:00

"Diaper time!!!!" (Anyone know what that's from???)

Well, no. Not really diaper time... but time for Hannah to actually POST something to her blog. I'm gonna tell you now, not the best post. But something is something. So there.

"Millions of peaches, peaches for me. Millions of peaches, peaches for free."

Literally. We have a client in town with a LOT of peaches. So... a ton of free peaches? Besides a refreshing summer drink- I made a pie!! And a cobbler, but that didn't turn out really. See picture below. FIRST pie as a wife. Well, other than pumpkin pie- which really anyone can do. So, first REAL pie. Ta da!

(Trent said one of his best tasting pies. I'd agree- but then again I DID grow up in a very pie-less home.)

See very cheesey expression. I do this well. FYI.

And just for laughs... see very `BAMA truck below. Nice confederate flag... hmmm. Also very nice bumper sticker proclaiming the love of farting. How nice. Which the world was full of more people like this gentleman. Oh wait. No- that was a lie...

More to come when I get my act together and can blog about a decent subject. Any ideas? Thoughts?

Ok.

Recession or not...

2009-04-19T18:15:00.001+02:00

THESE are always in style.

Stateism and Gators

2009-04-15T03:00:00.006+02:00

Stateism.

definition according to ME:
1. Believing one state is superior to another.
2. Prejudices against particular states.

I have it. I'm trying not to. I realize there are many good things and bad things about each state. For instance, Alabama. Mobile is pretty nice. And so is Gulf Shores. BUT...

It really DOES seem like every time I think it's "going to be ok here" something crazy happens. Here is the most recent "for instance".

(You have to imagine this in your BEST deep south accent, okay?)

Enter Hannah to Wal-Mart. Walking through produce, thinking to herself about the items she needs. She overhears a conversation between two women in said produce aisle.

Woman 1: "What is THAT?!?"
Woman 2: "Why, I think that's soy sauce!"
W 1: "In the produce section? That don't make no sense!"
W 2: "No it don't. And look- the name on it says 'POM'. That's no name for soy sauce..."
W 1: "Funny. Wonder why Wal-Mart's puttin that thar."

This really happened. And in case you didn't pick up on what they were talking about- it was Pom- Pomegranate juice. Awesome.

I really am not trying to make this blog ONLY about why you SHOULDN'T live here- but there are just so many good stories...

GATORS

I saw my first one this weekend in Lake Eufala! We were pretty close- it sunk into the water and swam off when we got too close in the boat, but still really neat. Look- see? Caught it on camera.

Ok- that's all for now.

Back in the Saddle, Again...

2009-04-03T22:45:00.003+02:00

So, back in the saddle again. I have a job- basically doing the same thing I used to at UBS just now at Jones. There are a few differences, however...

-all the free pop I can drink
-a lot more client interaction
-boredom
-a lot less $$$

But a job is a job, and in this area I am really lucky to have found something in my "field". I also might have some great stories to share- there are quite a few characters in this town.

In other news... my face is almost done peeling. We went to an air show in Florida last weekend and I really underestimated how much sunscreen I would need. So- when I got home I looked like a clown. My face was all red except for the parts around my eyes where my sunglasses covered. Thank GOODNESS for makeup!!

***It also turns out Trent learned that the sunglasses industry isn't regulated- they can put "100% UV protection" on just about anything. The areomed guys said it costs about $50-$60 at least to really put the complete protection ON the lens. Great. I feel VERY lied to- thinking my eyes were protected all this time. (I always buy very cheap ones...)

The air show turned out great- here is a picture of the Heritage run. A WWII fighter, one from Nam, and two modern-day fighters flying in formation.

It was really worth going to- and since it was free we even spent some money on the cheap/gross nachos and hot dogs. :O)

BUT... on the way home I got a speeding ticket. I SAW the cop sitting there and didn't slow down because I was convinced I was going the speed limit. Turns out the limit went from 55 to 45 for just long enough to create a speedTRAP. The 55 speed limit sign was right in front of my car when I was receiving my citation. Grrrr. The only semi-ok thing about getting a speeding ticket was that I can pay the fee and take an online drivers class to avoid the points going on my license. I enrolled for a class called "Improv Traffic Class". Its supposed to be a "fun" way to learn how to be a better driver.

Listen- traffic people- you can take your "traffic class" and dress it up with skits from comedians, but I'm not fooled. It's still TRAFFIC CLASS. Bah.

**** To end on a good note- Diet Rite Tangerine and White Grape pop- DELISH! Who'd have known?

Conspiracy

2009-03-19T16:28:00.004+01:00

In my previous post you may have noticed my leg covered in bites. Well, those are still there and now due to another fishing trip I have many more red bumps covering my body.

This time, however, I came prepared. I bought a repellent at WallyWorld that was made right here in `Bama. (Should have known... bah.) For some reason I picked the one without a sprayer under the cap, so before fishing I took the top off and slathered the "please-don't-bite-me" juice all over.

So why do mosquitoes bite me? Well, other than this article pointing out that "I just have the wrong blood type" I have another suggestion. It's a conspiracy.

Mosquito: "Hey fishy, fishy!"

Fish: "Yes?" "Blubb"

M: "Know that tasty type O that comes around here sometimes to try to catch you?"

F: "Yeah, bluuubbb, I hate that."

M: "Well, she does put you back in the lake after she catches you- but doesn't it make you frustrated when you think you are getting a meal but its in fact a lure?"

F: "Yes! Bluubbubub. That ticks me off!"

M: "Want to get back at her?"

F: "Yes!"

"Blub"

M: "Well, keep biting on her line- since she loves catching you so much. Then I will come in and me `n my buddies will have a tasty feast every time she comes- therefore making her life miserable and scratchy. We BOTH win!"

F: "I love it! It's so evil it just might work!!"

"Blub"

Well know what? GAME ON. I'm not intimidated by your evil plans. Ha.

Victory, Inflation, and Snow

2009-03-12T02:10:00.007+01:00

1. Victory is mine!!!!

So we have a 5k coming up this weekend on post- which I and my husband are running together. I have been preparing for it- so we have been going on runs in the evenings together around Beaver Lake. Yesterday, we decided to ALSO take our fishing gear with us, so that if we finished running early, we could practice casting.

(Below, me, practicing casting with my brand new rod and reel!)

I ended up running 3.5 miles, then catching TWO crappies!!!!! (Pic of crappie below)

I felt like a million bucks after that. The high from running and catching fish!! Well, it was awesome. I'm not bragging- I owe all of this to my husband who is helping me reach my goals fitness-wise and teaching me all about fishing. He really is the amazing one.

This DID however have its drawbacks. See pic below... MY leg covered in 15 bug bites. That's ONLY the right lower leg. Not to mention the ones on my other leg, arms, back, elbows, and hands. I ITCH EVERYWHERE!!!!! ACCCHHHHHHHH! (If I were smart, I would've remembered that mosquitoes down here are the size of small birds AND NEVER GO WITHOUT BUG SPRAY!)

2. Inflation.

THIS happened less than 20 miles from our house. It makes me worried. I was less impacted by this than many people from AL. And I wonder, am I less impacted because this is just a temporary residence? Colorado was hit pretty hard by similar things and those hit very close to home. Or is it because I see things like this happen and I am USED to it? It seems like horrific things are getting more and more out-of-control, like these things are growing with some sort of inflation. I think about this often, as someone who might have children in the next few years. What sort of world am I going to bring children into? Don't get me wrong, I want them to be challenged, to grow and learn- but not be nonchalant when a gunman murders dozens of people. Maybe it is inflation of horror. Maybe the media has more access now than it did before. Maybe it will get better.

All I know is- better not put your hope in anything but God.

3. SNOW!!!

It snowed in southern AL!!! And I caught this pic to prove it. It may have not lasted long, but it reminded me of home and of winter. I do miss Colorado.

Child Abuse

2009-03-01T19:19:00.001+01:00

A prime example of child abuse... doesn't really fit into Mullet Hunt `09, but it needs to be shared.

Please note the "rat tail" twins. Yikes.

Parents- no child deserves this. PLEASE.

Learning...

2009-02-27T20:02:00.002+01:00

You may ask "What are you learning lately?" to which I'd reply...

"The helicopters flying over my house are normally Black Hawks." Yay!

In all seriousness- I AM learning the differences. It's obvious with some of them, but up in the sky they look a little different! I think so far my favorites to see flying are the Chinooks- but I rarely see those.

In other news... "When in Rome..."

We have tickets for Talladega! I fully intend on dressing as "hick as possible" for this- so if you have any suggestions throw em my way. (And NO- I will not be cutting my hair into a femmullet. I do have standards...) You might also want to follow my "Mullet Hunt" on facebook, I'm sure to catch a few glorious ones... Woohooo!

?

2009-02-19T21:30:00.002+01:00

I have not been good about keeping this updated. So, feel free to give me crap. And here is the LATEST...

dun, dun, DUNNNNNNNN.....

1. I finally have a job! Wooohooo! Only part-time, but I get to keep my licenses and that is so important- I hadn't expected to be able to do that. So now I can either find another job for the other 2 days a week I won't be working, OR get an MBA online. Ideas?

2. Decided to kick it into high gear. Working out twice a day, since I'm not working yet, has made me very sore indeed. But I am signed up for the next 5k run on post with my hubby so I need to keep up the running. I don't want to be last... (Need some motivation to run? Watch "Run, Fat Boy, Run". Very funny in a british sort of way...)

3. Fart tag, anyone? Hehe.

Ok, thats all I got. For now.

Best Commercial...

2009-02-04T23:00:00.001+01:00

Although, now my husband is calling me "Hannerpuss". I don't know why- I don't even have a moustache!

Etc...

2009-01-26T17:04:00.004+01:00

Etc...

So I need to blog again. I know. Bein lazy. This is what comes of my unemployment.

Not a lot going on here. Trying to find a job. Last week I went to a few classes on post about finding a job and went to a few "interviews"- so now I'm hoping for some emails/phone calls for more. This has been pretty entertaining, though, watching some of the other spouses look for work. One had on a shorter shirt with knee-length hooker boots, and one had really tight jeans that were low enough to show her thong. So classy. And I was worried about being overdressed. Hehe.

Trent and I decided to look up running trails and see if we could find some new ones. We were very excited to find an 13.1 mile track around the lake- promising it was great for mountian bikers. So we got ready for a little hike and set out to find the trailhead. BUT... no. It just meant you could run/bike ON THE FLIPPIN ROAD around the lake. No trail. And really, nothing great for mountain bikers. I want to know who decided they could put streets on the Ft. Rucker website as running trails. So we went back to really THE ONLY TRAIL on post and went for a little "nature walk" as neither one of us was really up for a run. We found some great fungi growing on trees, mushrooms, and elderberries. But while we were riveted on the scenery, we got to talking. What does "state of the art" mean? I have wondered this before and looked it up but then I forgot. So here you all go. Meaning.

Don't you just love to Google search?

New Year, New State

2009-01-12T23:18:00.003+01:00

So. Alabama.

After moving here a month ago- I still don't really know how I feel about this place in general. I mean, it can't really compare to Colorado. No microbrews, no mountains, high humidity... but all of that aside there are some interesting points here.

*Interesting names for towns. (i.e. Opp, Sweet Gum Head, etc.)

*Interesting store names. (i.e. Gitty Up`N`Go, Piggly Wiggly... and YES we have one. Ha.)

*Lots of lawn ornamentation. LOTS.

*Good BBQ

*Limited ways to spend $$$$ (Good for saving...)

*Different roadkill. Oppossums, mainly. Still holding out to see an armadillo- aparently they are everywhere, sneaky little turds. (GRRR!)

*GREAT mullet hunting and draft picks in any store, preferrably Wal-Mart since it has a high concentration of people at all times.

So all that being said- jury is still out.

Impress me, ALABAMA.

Snow, please?

2008-12-24T03:35:00.003+01:00

Never gets old...

Quick Update

2008-12-17T15:26:00.003+01:00

Ok- its been a while. Here is a QUICK update:

1. Got married in Jamaica. It was beautiful- ate great food, enjoyed every minute with my husband, and got a little sunburn.

2. Moved in to the new house. I love it! Can't wait to make it feel more like home...

3. CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!!!!!

4. I love Christmas. (See new favorite Christmas song.)

(Ashlie- good thing I looked at your blog already. THIS is the better version...)

I might give a more "detailed" update later- if anyone is dying to know everything....

Goodbye, UBS.

2008-11-21T16:05:00.002+01:00

Goodbye, UBS.

This is my last day of working at UBS. Or working anywhere- at least until I can find a job in Alabama.

I don't know WHAT I feel… I think all of the emotions are almost cancelling each other out… but still taking a toll on my heart.

Anxious, happy, sad, excited, relived…

**sigh**

And VERY soon I'll be saying goodbye to Colorado, my best friend and my family.

Yikes. This is harder than I thought it would be…

(This is a picture that one of my advisors was going to use. Whelp, too late!)

First Snow!!!!!!!!

2008-11-14T15:38:00.004+01:00

I woke up today to the first snow of the season for Denver. It's so quiet and beautiful....

I think I may take a few breaks from work this morning and just go stand in it. And wish that I lived in a little cabin in the woods... so I could watch the snow and absorb the absolute stillness of it as long as I wanted.

I'm so glad I didn't miss you.

ODE to Pumpkin

2008-11-12T17:28:00.004+01:00

Oh Pumpkin. Orange and round.

My very favorite kind of pie-

You turn my frowns upside down,

And bring a tear to my eye.

And with a mountain of whipped cream,

You are a yummy treat,

In my coffee you are a dream-

The only fruit I want to eat.

(You make the holidays complete!)

**** Oh, no- you are thinking I am unaware of how retarded I am. Nope, I know.

*******Pumpkin being a fruit... isn't that funny?

********* There are very few words that rhyme with "coffee", "yummy", or "tasty". And some very harsh words that rhyme with "pie".

Things You Will Be Able To Afford This Holiday Season...

2008-11-07T16:16:00.004+01:00

One of the things I will really miss about Colorado is not having Channel 93.3 around to listen to.

I love the music- and love the DJ's. One of the DJ's- Nerf- has an "LOL at 5", and it is replayed during the day so in case you can't listen in at 5- you still get a little somethin funny. The latest one was "Things You Will Be Able to Afford This Holiday Season..."

(In a dramatic voice)

1. Generic Ramen
2. Leaves!
3. A Tic Tac
4. The Jake Plummer jersey
5. Rockies season tickets for 2009
6. Creed, greatest hits- volume one AND two

Hahaha… oh dear.

Wal-Mart Children

2008-10-22T22:55:00.002+02:00

Um, no.

I think this is just what those kids I have seen (heard!) at Wal-Mart need.

In fact, I'd be willing to open a day care like this one. I promise I wouldn't charge too much either.

UGH

2008-10-17T20:26:00.000+02:00

Ugh.

That pretty much sums up the way I feel/have been feeling. (HERE)

@ work they gave me one of the biggest jerks in the office to help out. He has already complained about me to the regional manager. Am I worried? Not really. Already gave my notice.

Paying for the wedding reception myself now. After three BLOWOUT fights with my mom. (I think we are at about 20 fights total since engagement! Apparently I know how to cut people in half. I'm a ninja and didn't even know it, so that's cool.) At least now that I am doing everything myself I already have the cake topper ordered, a contract on the reception place, invitations printed and almost all mailed out, and looking for a dress…

Ugh.

The dress. Good self-esteem booster. I wear a size 8 pant, and now a size 14 wedding dress. Yikes. Need to lose weight. The dress looked HORRIBLE. Don't they have wizards to make anyone look great on their wedding day? Let's hope. And please be cheap. I can't afford much else… HA.

Got a flu shot yesterday. Bad idea? Today I am dizzy, achy and tired. Maybe my body is under too much stress to fight off a tiny flu shot- please…. PLEASE fight off this flu shot and let's not get the flu. That would really suck.

**** Sorry blog readers. Hang in there. At some point there will be happy stories of going to AL for Trent's graduation, getting married, and adjusting to life in the South. The "UGH" period of life is almost over!

Chili Cook-Off Results

2008-10-02T22:13:00.002+02:00

I know its not good blog etiquette to post twice in one day, but I have a great story!!

I just came in 1ST place in our office chili cook-off!!!! Wooohoo! (I won a $25 gas gift card.)

We had the cook-off to raise money for the breast cancer research fund "Race for the Cure". There hadn't been an entry yet in the "other" category, so I was told to make some- and since I didn't have a slow cooker, my co-worker Melinda bought me one! My first wedding present- a crock-pot. Yeah! (I made white chicken chili- double on the jalapeños.)

And then I got a rather "fun" email in response to the cook-off results from a little British man I make fun of at work:

"Congratulations, and contrary to the opinions of some, you are clearly more than just the rude comments and pretty face - apparently a cook too. If you can sew and maintain a plastic smile in a group of Army wives bitching about their husbands last career report, you are going to excel at Military Wife School."

Awww. Thanks Gary. You just wait...

Mental

2008-09-26T22:35:00.001+02:00

I noticed as I walked into work today that there was a strange man in blue scrubs walking aimlessly in our hallway. On the 15th floor.

Maybe there is a mental hospital nearby and there was an escape. That would explain a few things around here. Maybe the poor guy was trying to reunite with his other "crazies". Birds of a feather... you know...

***True story, my brother's high school WAS right next to a mental hospital- and there was an escape. They had to shut down school to find the escape artists. One was just watching football practice. So it CAN happen.

Poison In My Coffee

2008-09-15T19:09:00.002+02:00

I forgot how much I loved explodingdog.com. Thanks, 2004!

Wrong Side Of The Bed

2008-09-11T20:11:00.001+02:00

"The Wrong Side of the Bed"

Sure felt like that this morning. I have had several reasons to be grumpy… but then some to make me happy as well. I think I just need to make a list and then try to be happy even if the "stupid annoying things" list is longer. Ugh.

Stupid Annoying Things:

1.The fact that I bought Tupperware containers and made lemon soufflé for the Susan G. Komen bake sale today… and NO ONE has bought any of them. Everything else on the "bake sale table" is almost gone. I should have "baked" something.
2. I parked next to a Toyota Tundra in the compact spots at work. AGAIN. Please see definition of "compact car" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compact_car
3. My hair dryer broke this morning. Its only a few months old.
4. Feeling like frustration/confusion is here to stay…
5. Roommate arguments. Enough said.
6. Gaining weight
7. My boss. Asking me to ask a "more experienced" associate here to see if I'm doing things wrong. Arg.

Good Happy Things:

1. Snuggling with Puck
2. The Office, and Heroes. Both GREAT shows.
3. Getting a free salad for lunch today. And a cookie. (I only picked a very small cookie)
4. Getting $10 from said boss because I won a bet. I DID do it right.
5. Dinner with old friends… realizing I am glad I left my old job.
6. Free tickets to a Rockies game

Ok, I will be happy. The bad list is longer… but I don't want it to win. Dumb list.

LOL cat for Bec.

2008-09-11T20:09:00.000+02:00

Here you go, Bec... my very own.

LOL cats?

2008-09-04T17:44:00.004+02:00

http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Too funny- you can make your own LOLcats pic. I think I'll make one of Puck. Hehe.

The Bahamas Sound Nice...

2008-09-02T18:03:00.005+02:00

The REAL Hannah wants to be in the Bahamas right now too...

Denver and Meth Heads...

2008-08-27T21:50:00.003+02:00

Please take a moment to read the article below:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/08/26/obama.threat/index.html

Sweet. These racist retards were having a jolly old time with their meth in the hotel LITERALLY RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO MY OFFICE!!!!!

Awesome. So when Denver gets a world spotlight, all we have to show is a bunch of idiotic protesters and three bu**wipes (See pictures!) who want to assassinate a candidate because of the color of his skin, jump out of 6th floor windows and do drugs.

Way to go, Colorado.

I HATE MY JOB

2008-08-15T01:46:00.003+02:00

So... guess what? I hate my job. Want to know why?????

I basically work for a flat rate that I am paid by UBS, then the brokers I work for supplement my income out of their production so that my salary sort of depends on how well I do to support my brokers and their clients. That's how it’s supposed to work anyway.

Yesterday one of my brokers calls me into his office to talk. He asks me to come up with a proposal on my own to present to him, detailing the amount I think I deserve to be paid and my goals to accomplish for HIM this quarter. He stipulates that because I “have not been myself” that I should be paid a little less, and also that two weeks is a reasonable amount to be absent from work in a calendar year- including BOTH vacation time and sick time.

UBS gives us three weeks vacation, plus 2 personal days, and 8 sick days. And if I take those days… I will be paid less??!?! Um, no. Not ok.

I tried telling him WHY I don’t agree with quarterly income (it should be monthly), why I don’t agree with being penalized for taking the vacation time I have earned, and why I disagree with being penalized simply because “I haven’t been myself”. He didn’t listen to a word I said, then when I brought up his LAST assistant he said paying her well “was a mistake”. His words. Not mine. She would love that.

Keep in mind none of this has to do with how I treat his clients, how fast I get projects done and how good I am at what I do. Maybe I should start sucking at my job. Or win the lottery. Or go talk to my manager (who is his best friend…). Or kidnap his dog. Seriously… better ideas?

Breathe…. Relax. Breathe… relax. ACK!!!!!!!!

Random Thoughts...

2008-07-29T16:19:00.002+02:00

Memory foam... I have a layer of this on my bed and I have to say... I'm hooked! It's so comfortable that I have trouble getting out of bed on most days. But as I was lying in bed last night, just thinking about how much I love my bed... it occurred to me... "Why is it called 'memory foam'?"

When you put pressure on it- it sinks in to accommodate whatever form is on it, but as soon as the pressure is released, it goes right back into shape. Shouldn't it be called 'FOREGETFUL foam'?

Lapse in judgment regarding the name aside… I googled memory foam this morning and found this little tidbit.

"So how does it work? Why is it called memory foam? Well, the foam in the mattress will absorb your body heat and mold itself to your body shape giving you support exactly where you need it. It's also ideal for couples, especially if one partner is much larger as it supports you both individually so no more rolling into those valleys!"

****Just in case anyone is sleeping with an elephant in their bed, memory foam might be a good idea. :O)

Would You Like Some Whine With Your Cheese?

2008-07-01T20:56:00.001+02:00

A recent introspection has left me feeling a little sad because I have found myself focusing on the negative things in my life… which ultimately has brought my spirit down. It's like I said to Alex yesterday…

"Owwww" -Me

"What's wrong?" –Alex

"My soul hurts from being at work all day." –Me

Being overly dramatic aside… I am HAPPY. So here is to focusing on the good things… the things that make it worth going through the tough stuff.

Hump Day Thoughts

2008-06-25T21:01:00.004+02:00

A few little thoughts for you while I am sitting here at work waiting to go home again.

Humiliation

Give it up for everyone's favorite, public humiliation. One of the most humiliating things EVER happened to me yesterday. In fact it was so bad that I am not even going to tell you all what happened. I told Alex, and maybe Ashlie via secure email. Anyway, maybe I filled my quota for the year. Here's hoping.

"BLLLOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD! Not funny!"

(See Utube for video) Giving blood has always been easy- up til today. I started sweating SO much it was like I had ran about 3 miles. I was covered! Apparently I had low blood pressure after they finished draining my life-juice, so I had to lay down and drink juice. What a wimp. At least I got a REALLY cool tee-shirt for FREE! Aren't you jealous?

Work

And on another note, clients/people at work sometimes RAISE my blood pressure. I made a few pictures for you to see how I relieve my stress when I could punch someone in the face. Enjoy.

(PS in case you are slow, thats me eating and spraying clients with fire.)

LOST

2008-06-19T19:04:00.001+02:00

"Lost". Good show. Especially the first few seasons- can't say much about the rest since I haven't seen them!

I just watched an episode where "Hurley", the coolest guy by FAR on the show, has a crush on "Libby", a maybe-psycho-girl who is pretending to be a psychologist (but then she dies and we will never know...). Anyways, Hurley struggles with being overweight even after being stranded on an island for months, mainly because he stole food for a private stash and hid it in the jungle. He tearfully confesses this to Libby, who goes with him to the stash and helps him pour out everything so that he won't be tempted by it. (A little strange considering there are other hungry people around… eh.) AS SOON AS THIS HAPPENS, there is an air-drop of a ton MORE food from seemingly nowhere. Libby jokes that the island doesn't want him to succeed in losing weight.

Um, am I on that freaking island? Seriously. Take today for example… I come in to work planning on a banana for breakfast and maybe some cottage cheese. Then one wholesaler comes in with five buckets of bagels and cream cheese, then another wholesaler brings in "duffy rolls"- almost like a crispy cinnamon roll. (OH I AM NOT DONE…) Then there is leftover cake in the fridge, and another wholesaler brings in KFC for lunch- plus my boss offers to buy me a snack downstairs at our café. Luckily I didn’t eat that stuff- other than the snack from the café- but that was only because I felt so guilty about the dinner I had last night.

Ack. Maybe life is a constant "when-you-feel-strong-watch-out-there's-a-trap!" I'd really like to get off this rollercoaster… and I am trying. Any advice?

I Need a New Horn For My Honda.

2008-06-11T20:06:00.002+02:00

Roundabout

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A roundabout is a type of road junction at which traffic enters a one-way stream around a central island. In the United States it is technically called a modern roundabout, to emphasize the distinction from the older, larger type of traffic circle.
Overall, roundabouts are statistically safer than both traffic circles and traditional intersections,[1] with the exception that cyclists have a significantly increased crash rate at large roundabouts. Roundabouts do not cope as well with the traffic on motorways, highways, or similar fast roads.

APPARENTLY, most of America has missed this memo.

Welcome to driving 101 for the public.

Now, most of the time I can let small things go- like cutting in line at the grocery store. Mostly because small annoyances don't happen to me every day. Sure they get on my nerves a little bit but I don't feel like punching my hand through my driver's side window. ROUND-A-BOUTS on the other hand make me flippin CRAZY!

There is one in front of my office building. Desirous as I am of avoiding it, I can't. Unless it’s a weekend and I am not at work. Picture this… two lanes come up to a round-a-bout. The right-hand lane has a yield sign.

Time out-

Yield sign

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
In road transport, a yield (Canada, Ireland, and the United States) or give way (many[weasel words] Commonwealth countries) traffic sign indicates that a driver of a vehicle must slow down and prepare to stop if necessary (usually while merging into traffic on another road) but does not need to stop if there is no reason to. A driver who has actually stopped in this situation is said to have yielded the right-of-way to through traffic on the main road. In contrast, a stop sign always requires a full stop.

Ok, do we understand YIELD now? Moving on…

EVERY SINGLE DAY- the car in the right lane tries to enter the round-a-bout first and cut right in front of me, narrowly missing my bumper every time. THEN, I get the "finger", or the "LOOK". I swear every time I get the "look" I want to throw the car in park, pull the person out of their car and break both of their arms so they can't drive for a while and give them a number to a driving school.

The other day I had to SLAM on my brakes to miss a car that shot out in front of me from another entrance on the round-a-bout coming from the Hyatt. Almost smashed his car in half. And you know what? It wouldn’t be my fault Mr. I-AM-TOO-IMPORTANT-TO-OBEY-TRAFFIC-RULES!!! Maybe next time I'll temporarily forget my brakes and just make a pretty little dent in your Mercedes-Benz. Now wouldn’t that be sad. Maybe your insurance company would pay your way through driving school.

Ok, I am done, the more I talk about this the more pent-up frustration is coming out my nostrils. GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Until next time! :O)

From Phoenix to Santa Fe...

2008-05-21T15:29:00.016+02:00

Business trips... most likely the only two I'll go on all year. Pretty good trips but there were just a few odd things I felt compelled to share with you...

First off- the most recent trip to Santa Fe. Below you- please note a picture I took in the Women's bathroom in the Albuquerque airport. Yes, this is what you think it is. A sharps collector most commonly found in a doctors office. Not a restroom. Please also note the MANY syringes in it. I could have grabbed a few used ones had I wanted to. Um....?

Secondly, Phoenix. Everything was great... spent time with my aunt Coco (haven't seen her in over 5 years...), great food, great bed, great mojitos.... yum. But take a look at some pictures I took of the inside of our great Hyatt Regency downtown.

UM, yeah. Creepy. For anyone who has seen "Donny Darko" and remembers the horrible rabbit "Frank"... you know what I'm getting at. Larger-than-life, odd looking random animals crawling up the sides of the hotel, doing stunts, leaning over the elevator so every time you come to the main floor "FRANK" is there to greet you. ACK! Want a picture of "Frank"?

http://http://www.cba-analisi.it/public/gallery/vari/2005-06-13_15-05-36_FrankEyeGlow.jpg

Seriously people.

Phobias

2008-05-13T18:35:00.002+02:00

Phobias

There are some VERY odd things to be afraid of... see list of some of my favorites below. :O)

***How can you possibly be terrified of freedom???

Bolsheviks- Bolshephobia.
Bridges or of crossing them- Gephyrophobia. (My dad actually has this one…)
Beautiful women- Caligynephobia.
Chickens- Alektorophobia.
Chopsticks- Consecotaleophobia.
Eight, the number- Octophobia.
Freedom- Eleutherophobia. (No thanks, I'll have communism please...)
Gaiety- Cherophobia.
Garlic- Alliumphobia. (Can anyone say Vampire?)
Japanese or Japanese culture- Japanophobia.
Kissing- Philemaphobia or Philematophobia.
Looking up- Anablephobia or Anablepophobia.
Menstruation- Menophobia. (The bears... they smell the menstruation!!)
Mirrors or seeing oneself in a mirror- Eisoptrophobia.
Money- Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia.
Northern lights- Auroraphobia.
Opinions- Allodoxaphobia.
Otters- Lutraphobia.
Phobias- Phobophobia. (You can have a fear of phobias???? Honestly…)
Poetry- Metrophobia.
Puppets- Pupaphobia.
Staying single- Anuptaphobia. (Don't we all at some point?)
Snow- Chionophobia.
Teenagers- Ephebiphobia. (No comment...)
Ugliness- Cacophobia.
Waits, long- Macrophobia. (I have this one)
Words, long- Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia or Sesquipedalophobia. (Appropriate)

If you need to see the whole list here it is: http://phobialist.com/reverse.html

Falcon Cam LIVE...

2008-05-06T23:28:00.001+02:00

Check this out- so entertaining! The mama falcon is watching over her little baby falcons- all recorded by this live cam. She fed them a rabbit earlier today I heard... I wanna see that!

http://sanjose.granicus.com/MediaPlayer.php?view_id=&clip_id=&publish_id=91&event_id=

Haha.

2008-05-06T18:01:00.003+02:00

The Oracle of Starbucks

2008-04-28T16:54:00.003+02:00

Thanks Bec for passing along this website- now I have HUGE self-esteem and I feel so encouraged. (sarcasm?)

http://www.buttafly.com/starbucks/index.php

Basically, if you go to this website and type in your typical drink order, it analyzes your personality and 'tells it like it is'. I wasn't a huge fan of Starbucks anyway- but now I think I'll be less inclined to frequent this establishment...

My drink was an iced skinny sugar-free latte- here is what it thinks of me.

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Fat
You're always worrying about your weight. That's because you're fat. You're constantly whining about problems that are your own fault. You are a total pain in the ass.

Also drinks: Diet RC Cola

Can also be found: On Jerry Springer

(Folks- I would never be on Springer, that's just mean...)

A WHAT Horse?

2008-04-24T16:52:00.004+02:00

"'Charley horse' can be as painful as it is mysterious.
The charley horse, or nocturnal leg cramp, is as common as it is unwelcome — a miserable, unexplainable affliction that has us, and doctors, wondering why the heck it happens and how we can avoid the next one." -ABC News

I am going crazy. Last night I woke up to a HORRIBLE cramp in my leg- the one where you can't breathe until it's over and then you lay there stunned out of your blissful slumber wondering what just happened... I thought for some reason it was a "crazy horse". When I told a co-worker about my "crazy horse" they looked really confused and told me they had never heard of such a thing before. So I spent about 15 minutes trying to Google search the "crazy horse" and show them that its a term for an awful cramp in your muscles that makes you imobile/want to die. Didn't come up with anything- because I'm retarded. It's called a CHARLEY HORSE. Duh.

And just to stand on my soapbox for a minute- who the BLEEP decided to give such a horrible experience such a cute name? Why not call a headache a "Justin Horse"? (That would be my suggestion, named fondly for the 83 year old crump I have to work for every day...) And there are others, like "tennis elbow" and "trigger finger". Those are also too cute... ugh.

I am going to re-name painful events so that I feel better telling others that I survived them.

List of possibilties:
Leg-Death Horse
Fiery Spasm Horse
Seizure Agony Horse
Suffering Horse

Any other great ideas for appropriate names for any kind of pain? I'd love to hear your ideas...

Series 66... DONE. And other thoughts...

2008-04-21T21:17:00.001+02:00

So welcome to my cubicle. It's around lunchtime but I have too much to do so I can't leave. Why am I posting on here then you may ask? Good question…

I have to keep my hands busy so I don't snack on peanut butter… its absolutely fantastic!! I got the "nutty" kind, more chunks than "crunchy". I don't understand those people who eat "smooth"- I mean, do they not like ANY excitement in their mouth? I know I do…

If you are looking for a good way to spend $20- go to this website. I love the jewelry!! Its really good quality plus they ship it relatively fast... I'm trying to not look for a while though- I really dont need more jewelry. :O)
http://shop.therainforestsite.com/store/category.do?siteId=221&categoryId=252&origin=1507

I PASSED MY DUMB LICENSING TEST!!!!!! (I actually got an 85%- which is much better than others in the office have done.) I intend on working out every day after work and watching movies and playing with my attention-starved cat. Or doing whatever else I want whenever I want. HA!

That's all that I had to say really- just a happy clam knowing my cram-for-test days are over for a while…

KC Experiencing High Mullet Levels

2008-04-14T16:26:00.003+02:00

Another great capture by Kristen Erickson... just flippin fantastic!! I don't even know what to call this one... other than "glorious". It looks like a comb-over mullet...

Eew

2008-04-10T23:09:00.002+02:00

I just thought I'd put it out there that today I sneezed with a mouthful of jalepeno chips... not pretty.

(I want to go home...)

It's a Wal-Mart World...

2008-04-09T18:19:00.003+02:00

Many of you know I had eye surgery a few years ago and my vision is still a bit fuzzy when it comes to distance. I'm on a steroid eye drop once a day to help this- however sometimes it's still a bit of an inconvenience.

I was at Wal-Mart yesterday doing some shopping for my lemon soufflé and toilet paper, when I see a man in an orange hoodie shopping near the produce aisle. I squinted and squinted… pretty sure he was a relative of mine!! His name- I think- is Buffy and he is on my grandpa's side, maybe a 3rd or 4th cousin. I wanted to say hello, but I had to make sure it was him…

So there I am like a stalker walking up and down aisles trying to get close enough, and finally get the courage to walk right past him. He looked right at me, and sure enough, it WAS him. However, he looked at me without a hint of recollection, so I decided to just walk on and leave it alone. Who wants to try to explain to someone that they REALLY ARE related- somehow- in the cooking section of Wal-Mart? That would have been awkward…

But it was this brush with awkwardness that took me into the vision center and ordered me some nice- expensive- new glasses. BAH.

Stay tuned for the addition of some "spectacles" to my lovely face. I'm sure to be TWICE as attractive so hold on!! ;o)

(Note: this temporary brush with attractiveness because of glasses should only last hopefully 10 months, when hopefully I will be able to get a "touch-up" surgery. Don't worry…)

Mullet Madness

2008-04-07T16:24:00.001+02:00

Mullet Madness

March is over, dear friends, but "Mullet Hunt" has only just begun. One of the main reasons for this blog is to share photos of great catches with my friends who sadly cannot view my collection on facebook.

This catch is courtesy of Kristen Erickson, who was on the ball with her camera phone. And to quote a great movie- this catch seems like he is trying to "be classy" but obviously "likes to party".

Keep em comin!!

Ah sushi

2008-04-03T15:54:00.003+02:00

I love sushi. At some point I really want to go to Japan- see the cherry blossoms, climb those beautiful mountains, sit by the ocean, but mostly- taste the original stuff fresh from the hands of the experts and the bounty of the sea. That being said- I am NOT a fan of the "sushi restaurant".

I went to one last night for example, in the tech center where I work and live. It's supposed to be a very nice restaurant- after all it's in a very "nice" part of town. (Don't get me started on how much I hate this area sometimes and those uppity richies who live here….) So my friend Carmen goes to use the restroom and comes back to tell us that either there is a large beetle on the floor in there or someone couldn’t wait to get to the toilet. EWWWWWWWW! Either way- know what I'm saying? So I go "have a look". It's not as bad as I was expecting, but looks like a black trash bag stuffed with rice or some white substance, blocking the drain on the floor. ?????? Anyone? Bueller?

If they charge so much for us to eat there you'd think they could keep the bathrooms clear of "black piles" of mystery.

Oh and the music they play at these places drives me nuts as well. Not a fan of Asian boy-girl-bands.

But one tasty thing to mention- jalapeños in sushi is a GREAT idea- try it if you are the adventuresome type- its my new favorite!

What???

2008-03-27T20:39:00.007+01:00

I want to catch these two in person someday. This is my dream...

The glory of "Mullet Hunt '08" continues. May you catch a glorious one...

Begin with Problems

2008-03-25T18:17:00.000+01:00

Great way to start something, problems catch more attention than just starting out with something fantastic.

I am putting my test on the back burner. It's boring, useless, and other than be helpful in people being impressed with me at work, has no purpose. I could get business cards, true, but does anyone ever ASK me for one? No. I'm not important. I want to relax, spend time with Trent until he leaves again in May, and minimize the stress going on with my job.

My boss said I needed to "get my sh** together and get it done". Yikes. I realize it does need to be done but is a two-month delay going to kill anyone? Honestly…

Any opinions? (You can leave comments on this thing, even if you don’t have your own blog.)

Other than that I am trying to focus on losing weight. I just got a new membership to 24 Hour Fitness which is really close to home/work so that I can workout with my best friend Alex and other considerably awesome friend Casi for more motivation. I am REALLY out of shape considering I did a vertical-climb-hike with Trent and almost died. No bueno…

The main thing though is enjoying the food I eat instead of shoving my face like I normally do. And only eating when I'm hungry- I tend to eat when bored/stressed. Work is usually good because I can keep my mind off of junk but nights and weekends are tough stuff.

Right now I'm enjoying some habanero garlic hot sauce, courtesy of my boss Greg, called "Danny Cash' Bottled Up Anger". WOW good!! I'm in love… and I'm tearing up too…

Thoughts

2008-03-21T00:28:00.000+01:00

So its about time.

I was thinking about something quite profound today and thought I'd better write it down because I would forget what it was. I sure did. But blogging isn't as dumb as writing everything down that I think during the day. I havent had one of these in a long time either- so this might have a bit of a rocky start.

Welcome to my world.