Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Thoughts on Parenting Styles

Ok. So this is an actual duvet cover set in a local store. Upon seeing it I instantly knew two things...

One: A picture needed to be taken immediately.

Two: I need to decide on a parenting style before having children.

After careful consideration (20 min worth) I have decided upon three options.

Parenting Style #1: Complete Honesty

"Well little Timmy, its like this.(Present child with book on actual reproduction from A to Z.) Even though this may be confusing- your mommy and daddy actually did the thing in this book, and because of that mommy carried you in her tummy for a while before going into messy labor, and then we had YOU!! I know this is a lot to take in, but you should know the whole truth. You may be grossed out now under your little illustrated duvet, but this will save you later in life from the embarrassment of confusion and incorrect names for anatomical parts. Let this duvet cover be a lesson to you."

"Also, while we are on the subject of truth, NEVER listen to daddy when he says mommy is stinky. It's really him."

Parenting Style #2: Humor To The Parent/Horror To The Child

"So.... little Timmy you said you wanted a brother or a sister- now you can sleep at night with all of your brother/sister possibilities!! Bahaha!"

"We DID get you- but see this little guy NEXT to you on the pillow? I'm starting to think that one would have been a more obedient child..."

"The Gypsies are in town and you had better behave. Really- now you can see how easy it is for mommy and daddy to replace you!"

"Uniqueness is really subjective... you looked like everyone else in the beginning."

Parenting Style #3: Confusion

"Look Timmy- boys and girls come from pretty balloons! Your balloon just got too big and 'pop!'- out you came!"

"What does it mean? I have no idea- ask your father. It was one of the last duvet sets they had. Do you want me to exchange it for the princess one? No? Then be quiet."

"Well- you see... there are birds and there are bees. But I'm tired- can we talk about this later? You are giving me a headache."

I really think I'm favoring a combo of these options. But I'm open to suggestions.


Shari said...

There's always option number 4 which is to not say anything at all. Then little Timmy will need therapy when he's 16 and he realizes what was on his duvet cover for all of those years. ;-)

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