Monday, April 28, 2008

The Oracle of Starbucks

Thanks Bec for passing along this website- now I have HUGE self-esteem and I feel so encouraged. (sarcasm?)

Basically, if you go to this website and type in your typical drink order, it analyzes your personality and 'tells it like it is'. I wasn't a huge fan of Starbucks anyway- but now I think I'll be less inclined to frequent this establishment...

My drink was an iced skinny sugar-free latte- here is what it thinks of me.

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Fat
You're always worrying about your weight. That's because you're fat. You're constantly whining about problems that are your own fault. You are a total pain in the ass.

Also drinks: Diet RC Cola

Can also be found: On Jerry Springer

(Folks- I would never be on Springer, that's just mean...)

Thursday, April 24, 2008

A WHAT Horse?

"'Charley horse' can be as painful as it is mysterious.
The charley horse, or nocturnal leg cramp, is as common as it is unwelcome — a miserable, unexplainable affliction that has us, and doctors, wondering why the heck it happens and how we can avoid the next one." -ABC News

I am going crazy. Last night I woke up to a HORRIBLE cramp in my leg- the one where you can't breathe until it's over and then you lay there stunned out of your blissful slumber wondering what just happened... I thought for some reason it was a "crazy horse". When I told a co-worker about my "crazy horse" they looked really confused and told me they had never heard of such a thing before. So I spent about 15 minutes trying to Google search the "crazy horse" and show them that its a term for an awful cramp in your muscles that makes you imobile/want to die. Didn't come up with anything- because I'm retarded. It's called a CHARLEY HORSE. Duh.

And just to stand on my soapbox for a minute- who the BLEEP decided to give such a horrible experience such a cute name? Why not call a headache a "Justin Horse"? (That would be my suggestion, named fondly for the 83 year old crump I have to work for every day...) And there are others, like "tennis elbow" and "trigger finger". Those are also too cute... ugh.

I am going to re-name painful events so that I feel better telling others that I survived them.

List of possibilties:
Leg-Death Horse
Fiery Spasm Horse
Seizure Agony Horse
Suffering Horse

Any other great ideas for appropriate names for any kind of pain? I'd love to hear your ideas...

Monday, April 21, 2008

Series 66... DONE. And other thoughts...

So welcome to my cubicle. It's around lunchtime but I have too much to do so I can't leave. Why am I posting on here then you may ask? Good question…

I have to keep my hands busy so I don't snack on peanut butter… its absolutely fantastic!! I got the "nutty" kind, more chunks than "crunchy". I don't understand those people who eat "smooth"- I mean, do they not like ANY excitement in their mouth? I know I do…

If you are looking for a good way to spend $20- go to this website. I love the jewelry!! Its really good quality plus they ship it relatively fast... I'm trying to not look for a while though- I really dont need more jewelry. :O)

I PASSED MY DUMB LICENSING TEST!!!!!! (I actually got an 85%- which is much better than others in the office have done.) I intend on working out every day after work and watching movies and playing with my attention-starved cat. Or doing whatever else I want whenever I want. HA!

That's all that I had to say really- just a happy clam knowing my cram-for-test days are over for a while…

Monday, April 14, 2008

KC Experiencing High Mullet Levels

Another great capture by Kristen Erickson... just flippin fantastic!! I don't even know what to call this one... other than "glorious". It looks like a comb-over mullet...

Thursday, April 10, 2008


I just thought I'd put it out there that today I sneezed with a mouthful of jalepeno chips... not pretty.

(I want to go home...)

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

It's a Wal-Mart World...

Many of you know I had eye surgery a few years ago and my vision is still a bit fuzzy when it comes to distance. I'm on a steroid eye drop once a day to help this- however sometimes it's still a bit of an inconvenience.

I was at Wal-Mart yesterday doing some shopping for my lemon soufflé and toilet paper, when I see a man in an orange hoodie shopping near the produce aisle. I squinted and squinted… pretty sure he was a relative of mine!! His name- I think- is Buffy and he is on my grandpa's side, maybe a 3rd or 4th cousin. I wanted to say hello, but I had to make sure it was him…

So there I am like a stalker walking up and down aisles trying to get close enough, and finally get the courage to walk right past him. He looked right at me, and sure enough, it WAS him. However, he looked at me without a hint of recollection, so I decided to just walk on and leave it alone. Who wants to try to explain to someone that they REALLY ARE related- somehow- in the cooking section of Wal-Mart? That would have been awkward…

But it was this brush with awkwardness that took me into the vision center and ordered me some nice- expensive- new glasses. BAH.

Stay tuned for the addition of some "spectacles" to my lovely face. I'm sure to be TWICE as attractive so hold on!! ;o)

(Note: this temporary brush with attractiveness because of glasses should only last hopefully 10 months, when hopefully I will be able to get a "touch-up" surgery. Don't worry…)

Monday, April 7, 2008

Mullet Madness

Mullet Madness

March is over, dear friends, but "Mullet Hunt" has only just begun. One of the main reasons for this blog is to share photos of great catches with my friends who sadly cannot view my collection on facebook.

This catch is courtesy of Kristen Erickson, who was on the ball with her camera phone. And to quote a great movie- this catch seems like he is trying to "be classy" but obviously "likes to party".

Keep em comin!!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Ah sushi

I love sushi. At some point I really want to go to Japan- see the cherry blossoms, climb those beautiful mountains, sit by the ocean, but mostly- taste the original stuff fresh from the hands of the experts and the bounty of the sea. That being said- I am NOT a fan of the "sushi restaurant".

I went to one last night for example, in the tech center where I work and live. It's supposed to be a very nice restaurant- after all it's in a very "nice" part of town. (Don't get me started on how much I hate this area sometimes and those uppity richies who live here….) So my friend Carmen goes to use the restroom and comes back to tell us that either there is a large beetle on the floor in there or someone couldn’t wait to get to the toilet. EWWWWWWWW! Either way- know what I'm saying? So I go "have a look". It's not as bad as I was expecting, but looks like a black trash bag stuffed with rice or some white substance, blocking the drain on the floor. ?????? Anyone? Bueller?

If they charge so much for us to eat there you'd think they could keep the bathrooms clear of "black piles" of mystery.

Oh and the music they play at these places drives me nuts as well. Not a fan of Asian boy-girl-bands.

But one tasty thing to mention- jalapeños in sushi is a GREAT idea- try it if you are the adventuresome type- its my new favorite!