Thursday, April 24, 2008

A WHAT Horse?

"'Charley horse' can be as painful as it is mysterious.
The charley horse, or nocturnal leg cramp, is as common as it is unwelcome — a miserable, unexplainable affliction that has us, and doctors, wondering why the heck it happens and how we can avoid the next one." -ABC News

I am going crazy. Last night I woke up to a HORRIBLE cramp in my leg- the one where you can't breathe until it's over and then you lay there stunned out of your blissful slumber wondering what just happened... I thought for some reason it was a "crazy horse". When I told a co-worker about my "crazy horse" they looked really confused and told me they had never heard of such a thing before. So I spent about 15 minutes trying to Google search the "crazy horse" and show them that its a term for an awful cramp in your muscles that makes you imobile/want to die. Didn't come up with anything- because I'm retarded. It's called a CHARLEY HORSE. Duh.

And just to stand on my soapbox for a minute- who the BLEEP decided to give such a horrible experience such a cute name? Why not call a headache a "Justin Horse"? (That would be my suggestion, named fondly for the 83 year old crump I have to work for every day...) And there are others, like "tennis elbow" and "trigger finger". Those are also too cute... ugh.

I am going to re-name painful events so that I feel better telling others that I survived them.

List of possibilties:
Leg-Death Horse
Fiery Spasm Horse
Seizure Agony Horse
Suffering Horse

Any other great ideas for appropriate names for any kind of pain? I'd love to hear your ideas...


bec said...

hahaha. i do not know what to say about this all really, except that i laughed thoroughly.

i truly do hate charlie horses, so much that they may as well be called lucifer horses.

ps: i hear that such cramps can be due to a potassium deficiency - so eat your bananas, han!

Ash said...

I kind of like your "Crazy Horse"...because when you get one, you tend to kick like a horse gone crazy. It makes more sense than "Charley Horse."

And speaking of misnomers...ask Trent what the end of a loaf of bread is called.